The state of your heart

[poetryforfish]

Castiel waited for Claire in their designated training area, unsure of his next move. Not in the brewing conflict; he and Adam had plans for their next move there. This was a an arena much closer to home. This was Adam's idea, too, in a way. Adam had made him aware of Claire's loss... but ultimately the decision to try to talk to her about it was his.

In all honesty, he should feel more prepared than he did. He'd been rehearsing all day, trying to find the best words. The trouble was that, ultimately, this was a Rei thing. He loved his earthbound brothers, but in their world, comfort in the face of loss was a heartfelt smack on the shoulder. Maybe it a good squeeze if it was really bad. Navigating feelings with words was something he was learning almost exclusively from their friend in the House. And she wasn't here to review and ask if he was doing it right.

Still, he was her godfather and this was a responsibility that came with it. He had Rei's example to go from, and his Mother's. Hopefully he'd make them both proud--and, with time, Claire herself.

Hopefully.

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[poetryforfish]

Castiel listened attentively as she explained about her connection to her fallen friend. Or, friend and crush. Crush and potential partner. He didn't understand her hesitation in telling him about it at first, but given the comment on what she'd absorbed from her childhood studies, it became fairly clear.

"I see. The homosexual question." His mouth formed a tight line for a moment in irritation at its existence and indignation on Claire's behalf that she had to suffer for it in the midst of her grief, which she so clearly wanted to come to terms with the whole of her feelings. "I've encountered this bias in my ministry here. It is unfortu--" no, too nice a word "--infuriating that humans insist on shifting the blame for their fear and hatred onto Mother once they find it has no basis in reality. I can assure you that She does not share these prejudices."

He felt guilty by association to see her almost afraid of him because she felt for her Kaia what his Mother actually prized most in humans. It was the last thing either of them would want her to feel. "She would be heartbroken to see this needless stigma add to your pain... as am I." He struggled with emotion, especially with outward displays of it, and it felt strange to consciously form the words. It was something he would ordinarily trust to be understood, but if he had given her any reason to doubt his loyalty and affection under any circumstance, he wanted--needed to explicitly correct it. She had to know she had his continued support and respect. "Please dismiss it from your thoughts."